The Astronaut at the Door

One summer years ago when I was in High School, I decided to keep a notebook by my bedside so that I could write down my dreams when I awoke every morning.

Don't ask me where I got this idea, I remember being fascinated with the dreams that descend upon us or arise from us as we sleep and wondered where they came from; how they took over our sleeptime experience; and, if I could record them, what would I learn about them? I think that I felt I wanted to approach this as a science study on dreams (very heady high school stuff!)

My first efforts were somewhat limited. As I woke up I remembered to remember my dreams, so I would lay there and reimmerse myself into wherever I'd just been. Most of my early entries were just that, whatever was floating around in my head as I was just waking.

Eventually, June turned to July, and July to August, and I grew more practiced with this little exercise. It became almost like writing backwards... I would record the dream that I woke up to, but then as I wrote I began to realize how before that dream had happened, another dream actually "led" into it. As the summer was coming to an end, I had records of three, four, five dreams a night, including how one led into the next. My entry would always start with the last dream from just before I woke up, and go backwards to however many earlier dreams I could remember. This was quite fascinating to me at sixteen years old. I was eager to go to bed at night and see where my night time "shows" would take me!

I started to think that I might have the makings of a very important entry to some very important Scientific Journal!

The few times that I brought up this little writing activity to my mother she just shook her head almost in disgust as if it were just a silly waste of time. What did she know? I was recording some very interesting "Science" that I'd never heard anyone had ever done. Who knows, I thought, maybe I was onto something....some of the secrets of the Universe, if nothing else! Or, so I thought.

Then something happened that left me a little shaken in my grandiose theories of my "work."

I remember part of one series of dreams. At one point, in my dream, I went to answer the door and there before me stood an astronaut in full astronaut gear, complete with the big bubble helmet that they wore at the time. It was night time and the outside light was dim. I was curious why an astronaut was at our door and even asked him what he wanted. He replied, "You'll know."

At the time of course, I had no idea what that meant and I wrote that in my Dream Journal.

I don't recall now any more specifics, or dreams that led up to that one, but a week or so later when I was not sleeping, there was an early evening knock at our door and I went to answer it. I was quite startled to see the "Astronaut" from my dream of a week earlier standing in the dim porch light. So much so that I quickly panicked thinking that this dream recording that I'd gotten so into that summer was maybe a little too close for comfort and questioned myself that maybe I needed back off this "dream world" stuff some.

As I stood there quickly processing all of this, the "Astronaut" took his helmet off and I realized that before me stood my handsome cousin from out West, who'd set off from Colorado a week earlier (without telling anyone, I might add), to come visit us in Massachusetts.

That shook me out of my dream world worries, but startled me to realize how much that dream of mine from a week earlier had just "replayed" in my real world life!

School started shortly after that, I left my dream studies and journaling for school studies and field hockey games and other real life activities.

In September sometime, searching for my notebook, my mother told me that she had thrown it out. In her motherly wisdom she knew that this "hokey so-called science study" of Janet's was just that...hokey and a bunch of bunk! At that point, I was a bit removed from it and didn't really get mad at her though I did think it was a little disturbing that she felt she could take something of mine that was somewhat personal and just trash it without telling me. Who knows what great works in science I could have unveiled!

I wish I could see that dream journal now. I'd be interested after all these years, what it read like and what, besides astronauts at our door, I was dreaming of at 16-years old, and if any of my other dreams might have come "true"...well, sort of true.

Ah well, gone are the actual records of the dreams of my youth...and for some reason I've never started up another Dream Journal over the years.

Actually, I can hardly remember what, or if, I was dreaming when I first wake up these days, but, I bet with some practice I can get back to uncovering some great studies in the dream science world. Or, at least some good stories to write about.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

I need to think more about Dreams in order to make a decent comment.

This time, I am just responding to your question about epilepsy. I have had it since I was about 8. I am much older now. My daughter is going to college in the fall. I still take medicine every day and the seizures are virtually nonxistent.

Although there was only a year or two when I really missed important lessons at school, I wonder, from time to time, how the eplipsy and the medicines prescribed for it have played into who I am.

[Julia]

I once had to write about dreams for a writing class. I ended up frustrated, as I can't dream on command. For a whole week, I dreamed about nothing, which rather undercut whatever point the instructor was trying to make. I ended up making something up, a failure at dreaming.

Perhaps it comes with practice? I'm impressed that you still remember these dreams!

Could you turn this into a short story? Is the astronaut friend or foe?