Memorable Sentences

    Most of my writing time now is spent trying to convince four classes of 8th grade boys that writing is a cool thing to do--and an even cooler thing to do well. This is tomorrow's missive...

    Memorable sentences are created out of images and actions. Words that create images are like the lumber we use in the shop to build our projects. It is the actual stuff you handle with your five senses—it’s what we feel and smell, and touch, and hold, and hear; it’s nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs. Everything else: conjunctions, prepositions, transition words, and punctuation are the glue and screws and nails that hold our sentences together. Moreover, (get the transition?) the right words help guide us to the next sentence, or lead us into the next paragraph--and so towards insight!.

    Although it is tempting to play it safe, don’t be afraid to use your whole toolbox and the whole shop when building your sentences. Don’t be afraid to use words in ways you’ve never seen before. There is nothing wrong with trying to have fun with words. It is what makes the written word a continuing miracle of creation. But make sure it helps you before you leave it in your final draft. As “they” say: “Anything worth succeeding in is worth failing in.” Success in writing is in the memory you leave behind for your reader. Memory is alive with images and actions--and so are good and effective sentences.
 

1. Show your reader what you want them to see! If you want to tell us “Freddy was sad” then paint us a sad picture of Freddy. Don’t just use the word sad. Your idea of sad is probably different than my idea of sad. My idea of sad? It’s my hollow, sunken eyes reddened by three nights worrying about how to teach a class full of cargo pants, nose rings and satanic tattoos the beauty of a language they seem bent on destroying. (Sorry, a little teacher nightmare there.)
2. Use rhetorical techniques, i.e., repetition, to help create a dynamic power (think of Martin Luther King) within your paragraphs. But don’t overdue it, unless you’re really really good at it. For instance, (another transition) unless you have studied at the feet of the masters; unless you have spent a season as a Fenn wrestler; unless you think this is working…(get the point?)
3. Go back over everything you write!!! Go back over everything you write!!! This is the fun part, if you have passion, and if you are willing to essaie (to try!). This is where you make sure everything is constructed just the way "you" want it to be constructed. 

Here’s a simple checklist. Ask yourself these questions, and see if your sentence stands tall or small:

a. Is the main idea or image clearly expressed or portrayed early in the paragraph?

b. Does every sentence say something clearly in a voice that is clearly your own?

c. Does every sentence make sense? Really! Read it out loud.

d. Is every sentence grammatically effective (oooh, notice I didn’t say correct?)

e. Is there a rhyme or reason to the order of your sentences?

f. Does every sentence have a direct road back to your topic sentence? Make sure there are no random or distracting sentences.

g. Does the last sentence restate, re-affirm or add to the main idea of the paragraph? Does it leave the reader expecting and anticipating the next paragraph?

All of writing is the crafting of sentences and then the ordering and rearranging of those sentences. A good sentence rings out like a morning bell across a quiet valley. Writing effectively is not rocket science, but it requires more than casual effort.

Make the effort!

    Most of my writing time now is spent trying to convince four classes of 8th grade boys that writing is a cool thing to do--and an even cooler thing to do well. This is tomorrow's missive...

    Memorable sentences are created out of images and actions. Words that create images are like the lumber we use in the shop to build our projects. It is the actual stuff you handle with your five senses—it’s what we feel and smell, and touch, and hold, and hear; it’s nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs. Everything else: conjunctions, prepositions, transition words, and punctuation are the glue and screws and nails that hold our sentences together. Moreover, (get the transition?) the right words help guide us to the next sentence, or lead us into the next paragraph--and so towards insight!.

    Although it is tempting to play it safe, don’t be afraid to use your whole toolbox and the whole shop when building your sentences. Don’t be afraid to use words in ways you’ve never seen before. There is nothing wrong with trying to have fun with words. It is what makes the written word a continuing miracle of creation. But make sure it helps you before you leave it in your final draft. As “they” say: “Anything worth succeeding in is worth failing in.” Success in writing is in the memory you leave behind for your reader. Memory is alive with images and actions--and so are good and effective sentences.
 

1. Show your reader what you want them to see! If you want to tell us “Freddy was sad” then paint us a sad picture of Freddy. Don’t just use the word sad. Your idea of sad is probably different than my idea of sad. My idea of sad? It’s my hollow, sunken eyes reddened by three nights worrying about how to teach a class full of cargo pants, nose rings and satanic tattoos the beauty of a language they seem bent on destroying. (Sorry, a little teacher nightmare there.)
2. Use rhetorical techniques, i.e., repetition, to help create a dynamic power (think of Martin Luther King) within your paragraphs. But don’t overdue it, unless you’re really really good at it. For instance, (another transition) unless you have studied at the feet of the masters; unless you have spent a season as a Fenn wrestler; unless you think this is working…(get the point?)
3. Go back over everything you write!!! Go back over everything you write!!! This is the fun part, if you have passion, and if you are willing to essaie (to try!). This is where you make sure everything is constructed just the way "you" want it to be constructed. 

Here’s a simple checklist. Ask yourself these questions, and see if your sentence stands tall or small:

a. Is the main idea or image clearly expressed or portrayed early in the paragraph?

b. Does every sentence say something clearly in a voice that is clearly your own?

c. Does every sentence make sense? Really! Read it out loud.

d. Is every sentence grammatically effective (oooh, notice I didn’t say correct?)

e. Is there a rhyme or reason to the order of your sentences?

f. Does every sentence have a direct road back to your topic sentence? Make sure there are no random or distracting sentences.

g. Does the last sentence restate, re-affirm or add to the main idea of the paragraph? Does it leave the reader expecting and anticipating the next paragraph?

All of writing is the crafting of sentences and then the ordering and rearranging of those sentences. A good sentence rings out like a morning bell across a quiet valley. Writing effectively is not rocket science, but it requires more than casual effort.

Make the effort!

Comments

[Scott B]

You know Fitz I don't remember why I took issue with the "ten step formula" but as much as I was wrong and overly opinionated, I think I was on to something. Anytime we students are told to do something specifically, scientifically even, we lose our emotional connection to the piece. I'll sit down to write a 2000-word essay, do it lethargically, like drudgery, and then read it over with dead eyes just so I know that I've "proofread." This is all well and good when one has to churn out tons of unappealing analytical essays, but not so great for writing with passion. A line from my edition of Dharma Bums stands out: "In advocating spontaneous composition, Kerouac was demanding more discipline, not less; the writer...was to commit himself to daily and endless practice." Maybe great writing comes from careful crafting, but only if that's the direction of the writer's passion.